Every September 1st

whatshouldwedu:

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September, 1st, 2014 — 2,882 notes
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Tumblr Code.

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

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must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

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September, 1st, 2014 — 1,677,410 notes
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Reblog this if you read tags

September, 1st, 2014 — 137,857 notes
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akittensblog:

hannawolfcross:

theghostparty:

pondermoofin:

vaniirox:

#i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is Thor

Look how badass he is while holding that baby

 #I can imagine him using his Thor voice on her #like when she’s crying in the middle of the night #WHAT IS WRONG DAUGHTER OF MINE#DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT#WHY DOTH YOU TORMENT ME SO PRECIOUS ONE 

But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?

TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?

I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.

WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER

IF HE BE WORTHY

SHALL POSSESS

THE BLESSING OF THOR

and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”

I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.

#ohohohohohohohrhioehehehheheh i followed you in my car to make sure you paid for her dinner hehehehehehehehe #i’ll literally come into your house and kill you if you break her heart #hehehehehehee

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What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.

it’s updated

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Rebloggin for the comments.

Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.

I love you

ALL of you

this just keeps getting better!!!

Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.

And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”

“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”

“Oh my god, dad…”

“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”

“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”

And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”

“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”

“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”

“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”

“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”

“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”

“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”

“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”

“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”

“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”

“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”

“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”

“Dad…”

“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”

“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”

#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen

#he never calls her back

I’m sorry

but this just keeps getting better and better

EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS

OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying

It gets better every time!

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I am CRYING oh my god

[[And there will be that one guy.

He won’t run or never call again.

He’ll sit there and play along.

“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”

It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]

I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong. 

September, 1st, 2014 — 289,038 notes
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dicklips-shakirahips:

punkrcks:

A masterpost on things that you could use to do better in school, and maybe to cheat just a little bit. 

Didn’t Listen In Class?  

Calculators & Solvers 

Didn’t Read That Book? 

Citing Sources 

Arts Department (Art, Choir, Band) P.S I take art so I’ll have the most resources for that

General Tips and Tricks 

That’s all. It’s not a lot but I guess it will help. This is my first masterpost and I hope you like it. If any of the links don’t work, just message me. 

September, 1st, 2014 — 56,591 notes
filed upon: #school  
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dammit-jim-im-a-blog:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

ultrafacts:

dominusr:

ultrafacts:

For more posts like this, follow Ultrafacts (Source)

Passport pl- 

I AM THE QUEEN

The only time she’s ever had a problem is when she went to America once and passport control there couldn’t understand the concept.

So Buckingham Palace had to fax over a confirmation that yes she is the Queen

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September, 1st, 2014 — 166,526 notes
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whatwecanfic:

Is it weird that immediately upon listening to this interview (ok ok, I paused half way through it) I googled “white calvin klein red band”?

For the record after exhaustive research, I’m reasonably certain that he was wearing these.

warning: link leads to a crotchtacular mens underwear shot. 

September, 1st, 2014 — 40 notes
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Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns

September, 1st, 2014 — 131,652 notes
filed upon: #GOSH DARNIT  #WHAT THE HELL  
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cultureshift:

oregonrighttolife:

PBS (OPB in Oregon) is celebrating Labor Day by playing the documentary, “After Tiller,” which glorifies four late-term abortionists in America. 

One of these “compassionate” abortionists is Dr. Warren Hern. “Julie Smith” had a late term abortion with him. It cost her $25,000. He killed her daughter Alice, diagnosed with a fetal abnormality, by injecting digoxen (a toxin) into her heart. That cause a massive heart attack which killed little 35-week old Alice, but not until hours later: “…I felt a kick,” “Julie” said while sobbing. Two days later, she was induced and labored to deliver little Alice, 5lb. and 13 oz., who was cleaned and handed, dead, to her mother. 

"Julie" came away with PTSD but still calls Hern "an absolute angel who saved me and my daughter."

These things are horrifying to speak of but if anyone thinks abortion should be legal, they should have the intellectual honesty to know WHAT abortion is. 

***PLEASE share this post widely to let your friends know what abortion is. Please also considering expressing your outrage to taxpayer-funded PBS.***

http://bit.ly/1tAqya4

Abortion kills innocent living human beings. Wake up to its reality. We are euthanizing our children based on their disabilities. Nazi Germany had a similar strategy.

What side of history will you be left standing on?

September, 1st, 2014 — 70 notes
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breakburnandends:

okay…let’s be real here…will ANY tour beat the Speak Now tour…………………….

September, 1st, 2014 — 168 notes
filed upon: #no way jose  
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August, 31st, 2014 — 1,797 notes
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thequeerclone:

the fact that there have no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

August, 31st, 2014 — 120,465 notes
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